Self-Improvement Tuesday!!

Continuing my theme with change, I have decided that every Tuesday I am going to try and make some kind of a self-improvement. Anything from beauty & fitness to self-esteem & self-image improvements.

Today I choose to improve myself by starting back at working out. I am not very healthy. In fact, I am well quite lazy! Before my second baby, I worked out a lot. I was in good shape, I was the smallest I have ever been. I loved Pilate's but after the second baby, I just didn't have the time. No more excuses!

So I started back with some basic Pilate moves. I only worked out for 15 minutes today but I know that I can make it longer tomorrow! So here's to improving my health.

Not only did I workout but also made a wonderful homemade dinner from scratch. I made manicotti with salad and bruschetta for an appetizer. I have been trying to find new ways to make healthy meals for my family. Tonight I am proud to report that my 6 year old ate salad and loved it. She also ate bruschetta with the all the tomatoes without one complaint. I was so excited, she has never eaten salad.

But the highlight of the evening was the chocolate cream pie that I made with real ingredients. As my 6 year old proudly told her Dad, "Mom made it without a box!" So from these simple ingredients...

I made....

It may have been rich but man was it good!!

A Change Will Do You Good...

"Change is the essence of life. Be willing to surrender what you are for what you could be."

I know that like me you have heard this saying over and over again, but for some reason it has been on my mind. I am not happy with a lot of aspects in my life right now so I know that it is time for change.

So I have come up with a new plan to bring change into my life. For the next couple of weeks I hope that you will be able to see the change and maybe just maybe it will encourage you to change, too.

Today I decided to change my routine at home. I have become very complacent about everything! So this morning I actually woke up 30 minutes earlier than I normally do which wasn't that hard for me. I am NOT I repeat NOT a morning person. Honestly, I really couldn't tell a difference at all in terms of being more tired. It did allow me to have 30 minutes of "me time" which I have been lacking these days.

I know that waking up 30 minutes earlier is really not a lot of change but for today it was more than enough for me! I also have to give a shout out to the person I think has inspired me to make this change, Jenny. She is one of the wisest and smartest women that I have ever meet. I hope she knows how much she means to me and how much she inspires me! Thanks!

"We must become the change we want to see"
Mahatma Gandhi

Week in Review...

Watching - I have started watching the Real Housewives of NY. What was I thinking? I guess I need a little more drama in my life.
Reading - Knitting book
Making - messes
Eating - Fast Food!! I suck at cooking every meal but I know that will change. I watched Jamie Oliver on Oprah this week and it was an eye opener for me.
Feeling - hopeful
Wondering - How I can be a better friend
Hearing - Mine!! A lot from both kids.
Liking - The idea of a vacation
Wanting - To lose weight
Playing - In the new garden bed!
Wishing - I was more organized
Enjoying - moments alone

All in all I think this week was....OK. It wasn't the most memorable. It wasn't the happiest but nobody died or is in the hospital. That seems to be what I judge most weeks by now. If nobody dies or is in the hospital then I consider it a success! Don't get me wrong there are a lot of things I need to work on with myself and my kids. That is my next post my list of things that needs to change around here. So look for change and I am not talking about the change in the couch cushions!!

Conversations with Mom - Take 2

So my Mom....I really have a hard time finding something positive and nice to say about her these days. She has once again fallen off the wagon. As many times as she falls off, you would think she would brake something besides my patience! This is the conversation I had with her this morning, after 3 days of trying to call her. When I say I tried to call her, I call her house phone then her cell phone and repeat until she answers.

Mom: "Hello"

Me: "Mom? Whats going on? I have been trying to call you for three days?"

Mom: "I have been outside with Winston" Winston the blind dog or my step brother, whichever you prefer.

Me: "You have been outside for 3 days?"

Mom: "It is so beautiful outside" It is a cloudy, windy, overcast day. I think we are getting some pretty heavy storms today.

Me: "I thought you hated stormy weather?"

Mom: "I do but it is so beautiful outside. Winston and I have been outside in the yard working getting it ready for spring."

Me: "Well what have you been up to besides the yard?"

Mom: "Nothing. Nobody ever calls me."

Me: "Mom I have been trying for 3 days, you won't answer the phone."

Mom: "Well I guess I could take the phone outside with me." You think. It is a cell phone and a cordless phone they reach outside! I think to myself not wanting to piss her off too much because she will hang up on me!

Me: "I get worried about you when you don't answer the phone. You know you can call me, if you want to." Sometimes I think she really believes the phone does not dial out!

Mom: "Oh, I have to go. Winston wants to go outside." Click. That is the end of the conversation.

Conclusion...

So this is the end of Lillian's first spring break! We survived, nobody got hurt or died, so I have decided it was a success. We had our ups and downs but in the end, everyone is tired and ready to go back to our school routine.

Some of the fun things we did on spring break include and are not limited to:

1. Crafts - Lots of painting, coloring, cutting and gluing.

2. Zoo - We love our zoo here in town but this year we decided to visit a new zoo. We drove to Dallas to visit their zoo. The trip was long but we had fun exploring new territories and not having a real plan.

3. We spent quality time with both sets of grandparents.

4. We signed Lillian up for softball. It was all her idea, she wants to try so we will see how it turns out.

5. Fishing. Lillian got to go fishing for the very first time. She loved the time with her Dad and he loved not catching anything slimy.

6. Snow! Who would have thought that in one week's time? We would have 70 degree weather one day and snow the next.

7. Cleaning! What is spring break without cleaning out the car, closets and under the beds!

Spring Break - Day 4

Well nobody got got hurt today, so I guess it went off without a hitch! Creativity choose not to visit me today, which was good because I was in no mood for crafts. Basically, we colored, played, and watch too much TV. I didn't even cook today! I know horrible, horrible mom.

Spring Break - Day 3

Days 1 & 2 were spent at Lilli's grandparents house. So we have to start with Day 3! Today was pretty boring by my standards! Nobody woke up before 9:30, which was very nice and has not happened in years. Instead of eating a normal breakfast, we had goldfish and juice. Way to go Mom!!

Lunch went by with no mishaps or meltdowns. It was such a beautiful afternoon, that we opened the back door and ran in and out!! After lots of running, laughing and playing, Ev could no longer keep her eyes open and went down for a nap at 3, which I am paying for now!

Lillian was awfully bored so I quickly came up with an idea to make paper dolls out of old magazines! It was quite a success if I do say so myself. We had fun and came up with some very creative wall art. Watch out Grandma, I know what you are getting for Christmas this year!!

And the Mother of the Day Award goes to...

I think that I deserve the Mother of the Day Award today. Ev is a child that is so full of life, in other words busy. You can not turn your back on her for one second and I did today. I was washing the dishes when I realized that I had no idea where she was and it was quiet. When it is quiet I know she is up to no good.

I frantically start searching the house to find her. Scary thoughts run through my head, as I quickly race from room to room. Then I find her in the bathroom. She has her baby doll and a cup from her tea set. They are sitting in the floor drinking toilet water! My sweet angel looks up at me and says "tea"!

I fall to floor crying both tears of disgust and laughter. But you have to give the child credit at least she was sharing with her baby doll!

Tooth...

On the first night of spring break, Lillian convinced us to have dinner at Chick-fil-a. She just recently starting eating their chicken sandwiches. She can't eat a whole one but it sure makes her feel like she is more grown up trying!

Dinner was going normal, Ev throwing her food, Nat not paying attention to anyone and me trying to keep it from escalating to chaos. Lillian looks at me and says "Why is there so much blood on my chicken?"

We all look at her and there is her tooth dangling! We couldn't help it, all of us started laughing! Lillian has stressed over how she was going to lose her tooth, when it was going to happen and now finally it happened without one ounce of pain! Now we are looking forward to the tooth fairy visiting when she gets back from her grandparents!

Piano..

Lillian has been taking piano classes from a local lady for about 9 months now. She goes once a week for 45 mins. She hardly ever practices at home, not because we don't ask her to but because she never wants to practice. Her teacher has been very vocal about not pushing her about practicing. If she wants to practice then she will do it.

When we went to pick her up this past week, her teacher once again brought up the subject of recitals. We had decided last month not to do the recital because we both felt that it would put too much pressure on Lillian. She is quite shy. We want her to enjoy piano not dread having recitals.

Her teacher told us that she knew that we didn't want to do the recital but Lillian is so talented that she couldn't let her pass up the opportunity so she paid the money to hold her spot at the recital! We really don't know how to feel about this. On the one hand we are so excited that our daughter is talented but nervous about Lillian feeling pressure to perform. I will keep you update as the recital gets closer!!

Update..

A lot has happened this week, let's see if I can catch you up! It was graduation picture day at school this week for Lillian. I asked her if she smiled big, her reply "No. I smiled like this" as she gave me a half smile, barely enough to even being called a smile. "It is my best smile!" I am so glad that she knows that about herself!

Lillian teacher sent home a note last week asking if anyone knew how to juggle. Well my husband is an excellent juggler and so I set it up. We both thought it was only going to be Lillian's class but come to find out it was all 5 of the kindergarten classes!

Nat did an excellent job under all the pressure and the kids were very impressed. I couldn't believe that the kids would love the same juggling act that we get everyday. The same act that I am constantly asking my husband to stop, was finally appreciated by others!

First Love...

There are so many firsts that I remember. The first time I saw my husband. The first time we kissed. The first place we lived together. But once we started having kids, my firsts turned into our firsts. The first time we rode in the car. The first time I knew I was a mom. Now it seems that our firsts with Lillian has turned into her firsts.

So the other morning before school for a treat I took Lilli to get donut holes (her favorite). While we were sitting in the parking lot waiting for school to start, she tells me she is in love. It was one of those moments that stuns you. How can my 6 year old daughter be in love? His name is Corbin. She tells me that they hold hands on the playground. I have never in my entire life been more frighten then I am now knowing that my little girl is growing up.

I think I am most upset about her being in love because I don't want her to get hurt. I know that it is a part of growing up but I still want more than anything to protect her. Isn't she a little young to be in love? Of course I know that she really isn't in love, at least what I consider being in love but to her it is love. I also know from here it only gets worse! The things I have to look forward to. I guess I should work on my chocolate cake recipe because my mom always said "Chocolate makes everything better"!!!!

Catch Up...

So I have not been blogging lately. Many reasons, a few being that I have been busy? I hope to make up for it!

Week in Review - March 7, 2010

Watching - American Idol (Finally after 9 seasons I decided to watch!)
Reading - Nothing??
Making - Tooth bag for Lilli's loose tooth
Eating - McDonald's (I hate McD's but Lilli just tried a cheese burger for the first time and has been making up for lost time)
Feeling - Lonely & Lost (What's new)
Thinking - About Spring break, trying to come up with some fun & exciting adventures.
Hoping - I get the job, I think?
Wondering - Why I even went back to school?
Hearing - NO. It is Ev's new favorite word, doesn't matter what you ask the answer is no.
Liking - Green tea & honey
Wanting - To lose weight
Playing - Outside with the cat. The weather has finally become nice enough to go outside.
Wishing - I had more energy.
Enjoying - My gardening plans. I can't wait for the last frost/freeze!

Mom...

So this is subject that I hate talking about the most. My mom is an alcoholic. She has been one that I know about for 9 years, although I believe now that she was always an alcoholic. Sometimes she is on the wagon and sometimes she falls flat off, you never know with her. She is on a binge again and has been for almost 2 weeks now. This is a real conversation that I had with my mom, maybe it can help shed inside on our relationship.

Actually first I have to get her on the phone. It takes calling the home number, then the cell, then home, then cell and so on until she finally answers.

Mom: "Hello" clearly drunk and slurring

Me: "Mom? What are you doing?" waiting for the usual excuse: Winston

Mom: "I was taking Winston outside to pee. He's a sweety good boy." Winston is her blind dog that it the only living heir to my step father, Ron. He passed away in July from cancer.

Me: "How is Winston?" not really concerned but out of habit and bitterness.

Mom: "He's good. What's my baby girls doing?" She always calls my daughter the baby girls because that was what my Dad called me, his baby girl.

Me: "Good. So I was thinking maybe I will come over tomorrow and help you with anything you need." Knowing that she will never agree and if she does, she will not answer the door when I show up.

Mom: "I have to go. Winston is standing here doing the pee pee dance. Talk to you later." Click. She is gone. She always uses the same excuse to get off the phone, she never realizes that she used the same excuse as to why she couldn't answer the phone!

It has Finally Happened...

It has finally happened, my six yr old has a loose tooth!! She is so excited. I forgot how fun and exciting it is being a child. She is just growing up so fast, right before my eyes. It only seems like yesterday that she was just a baby. But now her baby teeth are falling out. What happens next? Honestly I am too scared to think about what the next big moment will be. I am scared to blink my eyes because she will be gone, living her own life. But until then I will enjoy the first loose tooth and all the other exciting events happening in her life now! I love you Lillian!!