Conversations with Mom - Take 2

So my Mom....I really have a hard time finding something positive and nice to say about her these days. She has once again fallen off the wagon. As many times as she falls off, you would think she would brake something besides my patience! This is the conversation I had with her this morning, after 3 days of trying to call her. When I say I tried to call her, I call her house phone then her cell phone and repeat until she answers.

Mom: "Hello"

Me: "Mom? Whats going on? I have been trying to call you for three days?"

Mom: "I have been outside with Winston" Winston the blind dog or my step brother, whichever you prefer.

Me: "You have been outside for 3 days?"

Mom: "It is so beautiful outside" It is a cloudy, windy, overcast day. I think we are getting some pretty heavy storms today.

Me: "I thought you hated stormy weather?"

Mom: "I do but it is so beautiful outside. Winston and I have been outside in the yard working getting it ready for spring."

Me: "Well what have you been up to besides the yard?"

Mom: "Nothing. Nobody ever calls me."

Me: "Mom I have been trying for 3 days, you won't answer the phone."

Mom: "Well I guess I could take the phone outside with me." You think. It is a cell phone and a cordless phone they reach outside! I think to myself not wanting to piss her off too much because she will hang up on me!

Me: "I get worried about you when you don't answer the phone. You know you can call me, if you want to." Sometimes I think she really believes the phone does not dial out!

Mom: "Oh, I have to go. Winston wants to go outside." Click. That is the end of the conversation.