Reasons I haven't Called....

  • The dog ate my homework, no....sorry wrong list
  • I don't know what to say after "hello"
  • I am angry at you. wow that was hard to say write
  • You set up the rules. I was just following as "usu"
  • I had my own load that was is getting too much at times, just like you!
  • I don't like confrontation. I know, with all my anger issues I have anxiety over confrontation. Well only with ones close.
  • You get so bitchy sometimes that I end up apologizing for things that I am not even really sorry for.
  • I am just not ready to deal with reality of the situation because I am scared it will be the end. If you never say good-bye then it never ended.

Sweet Dreams

Only my pillow knows why I cry at night
Why I toss and turn without delight

I release all my fears, guilts and tears
Hoping to release it and nobody hears

The true feelings that I have about me
The ache I feel for what I can be

The lost destination I will never know
The joys and happiness being on the go

Up the ladder, straight to the top
I would climb and nobody could stop

Me, the person I know I am
And not the skeleton I call a sham



Natural Animal Sanctuary

I have decided that we live in an animal sanctuary. Our town is small but not that small, really....population 38,400. (Thanks Google) I live 4 blocks from Target, we are not that small.

Today alone I wrestled a snake from Seraphina, the cat, and I also "tried" to scare a possum off the fence. Now I did not grow up in the woods, I am a city girl. Love Love Love the city. It wasn't until I got married and then had 2 kids that we moved to the smaller suburb. Grant it, I live 20 minutes from a real mall, fancy boutiques and well the city.

Confession: under these beautiful highlights, thanks Leslie you rock, I do have some strawberry blonde roots. (Notice how I used strawberry and the smaller text to hide the truth!) It wasn't until after the "incident" when I was frantically telling my husband the recap play-by-play that I realized possums play dead when frightened. (Thanks Over the Hedge I always knew watching those kids movies over and over again would come in handy!) 

Now Seraphina and I have a love-hate relationship. For some reason she loves me and well I hate her. Not because she is a bad cat, in fact she is an AWESOME cat. I can't believe she is still alive. I don't know how many times I caught the younger one, when she has 2, carrying her around by the neck. No scratches no bites, she takes it?!? Totally confused by that. I hate her not really her but her dandruff or whatever makes you allergic to cats!
We have an attached garage that has a door to the backyard. I always call her in through that door. Tonight I opened the door called for her. She didn't show after a couple of whistles so I grab my flip flops and headed out back. We have a long covered back patio and privacy fence around the yard. Seraphina loves to walk across the top of the fence posts, its a perfect walkway. So I immediately looked to my left to the fence to try and spot her. I heard some movement and low and behold it was a possum. I froze, I didn't know what to do, me Mrs. Useless Information didn't know what to do. I went into my hood-rat mode, yes I was hip at some point in life! I started talking sh*t to the possum.

Now let me reassure you sticks and stones my brake his bones but words will never hurt him, oh no. Remember I didn't realize that possums play dead until after the confrontation so I thought oh hell ya he was a tough cookie. I ran back into the garage and grabbed the shovel. It did take me a few minutes to decide between the pointed shovel or the flat shovel. I went with the flat shovel because it had a gray handle. I am wearing gray stretch pants with these cute buttons down the side but just halfway up the calf. I immediately thought "ACCESSORIZE". I don't want to be dead or have to call 911 with a shovel that doesn't match, really?!?

After the fashion crisis was adverted, I ran back out blasting. I was talking about his mama I wasn't holding back. That's when I spotted Seraphina laying on the rocking bench on the patio. She had been there the WHOLE time. She wasn't scared of the possum. She was taking a nap. The same Seraphina that likes to catch birds, snakes, mice, gophers, moles and insects didn't give a crap that there was a possum on the fence?!?

My next thoughts were of poor Seraphina. I was only trying to save her life and well that's what I yelled at her while I was chasing her. Imagine if you will me running at the cat with a shovel in my hand yelling "Seraphina come here. I am ONLY trying to save your life. Bitch, where are you going?" I am 100% positive that my neighbors think I am crazy, so be it. Don't bother me none, I am still going to yelling at the crazy cat when she runs from me.

After corralling the cat in the garage, I once again turned my attention to the possum. Which was in fact standing completely still and at the time I thought he was ready to throw down. I am not a b*tch that walks away from fight except at the end after I kicked your ass. I am not tall but I do have a "Napoleon complex", get in my space and you will see.

I started banging the shovel on the patio floor and talking more sh*t. I got really close to him. I was in a batters position ready to swing. I thought he would run off, in hind sight I should have turned the hose on him. He stood completely still that's what freaked me out the most, I couldn't figure out if he was going to attack me or just stand there. You know I did just get my hair done today. I can't afford two visits in one week. That's when I slowly walked back inside never turning my back on him. I wanted to be prepared. I called the hubby and of course he starts snickering even before I tell him the good parts.

I am so glad that I can provide some comedic relief to someone. Needless to say, I still believe that I saved Seraphina's life even if she doesn't think so which she doesn't. She is once again sound asleep and the possum is gone. My hair looks good and well now to watch Ghost Adventures...Scooby-douche!! LOL!!!


I have PCOS & I am MAD as HELL

Yes you read the title correctly, I have PCOS & I am MAD as HELL! For those of you who have never heard of it and refuse to google it, PCOS stands for poly cystic ovarian syndrome. Layman's terms: a woman trapped inside another woman's body that looks like a man!

I was first diagnosed about 18 years ago. The treatment really hasn't changed much at all. They still tell me that if I was skinny my life would be perfect. I wonder to myself sometimes if these "doctors" (I use that term loosely) even really listen to themselves. "OK, I know you are having lots of issues and I refuse to address any of them. Fat ass if you would get up off your lazy ass and worked out then maybe you would be happier with your looks. Come back in 6 months or whenever you get your self-esteem back up and functioning, we will look at the issues again and see what other creative way I can smash your self worth! Wait did I say creative, oh sorry I meant cruel and unusual. Creative would imply that I tried to help in the least little way. Don't forget to check out and give me ridiculous amounts of money to waste on my mistress and drug addiction!"

I guess I might be blowing it all out of portion because I have been known to do that a time or two. It is truly sad I think when you pray to be diagnosed with Cushing's Disease at least that way there is a cure.

So I assume you have guessed already that I had to return yesterday to the doctor for my next step in the "no where process". I do not have Cushing's yes I was very upset about that. By the way, I do not understand why a specialist for PCOS are only in fertility clinics, that should tell you exactly how they treat the disease. Let's give the woman with lots of hormone issues more hormones just so she can have a baby because really that is all they are good for any ways.

After having to wait for 30 minutes while the doctor played the Easter bunny (harvesting eggs), I was told once again if you just would lose weight you would be happier. OK I understand that people who are overweight have lots of health issues but the issue with me is that I am healthy but I keep gaining weight. After looking through my 45 day food journal (yes I was completely honest), she was actually surprised by my increase in exercise and self control over food. Yes there were days where I ate out or had chocolate but it was maybe twice over the 45 day span. I also exercise quit a bit. I do 35-45 mins on elliptical, walk to take daughter to and from school, either 30 mins Pilate or yoga and my weights (small weights with lots of reps for toning) everyday.

It sucks! But I am not giving up yet. I keep telling myself that I could just quit exercising, quit watching what I eat and just become ginormous. I just can't do that to my girls. At some point I will have to make a public appearance with them and I just don't want to be the mom that looks like she doesn't care about herself. Yes I think that people that are as big as I am just don't care about themselves. I think that is what keeps me motivated I care about ME. I like ME. I just want to like the me that is staring back in the mirror!

I'm no beauty Queen, I'm just beautiful ME!!!!!



Well it's official my girls are growing up. The truth does hurt especially when it has to do with me. My oldest is now 8 years old, wow, and the sassy one turned 3!

For "L's" birthday, we surprised her with a trip to Chicago! Oh Chicago, I love you! It was completely awesome. I loved every moment. I keep telling myself that if I don't unpack the suitcases then I am still on vacation! It works for me.

This was taken from the sunset boat tour of the canal. What a great view! Seriously, if you have never been to Chicago, go. We were there for 4 days and it was not enough time. I could have spent 4 days alone at the Museum of Natural History, the Shed, the Art Museum, wow I could keep going. I didn't even mention the "Magnificent Mile". Saks on one corner, Neiman Marcus on another and Bloomingdale's...American Girl, Cole Hahn, H&M, OK I am booking a return trip!


Week 3 Fitness Update

I hate to disappoint but....well...umm...there was this incident with some ice cream and some other not-so-good-for-you items that has set me back to pretty much where I started. Oh, of course the Doctor's office ordeal that sent me spiraling out of control into mountains of calories didn't help! Don't worry I did not KILL or cause any bodily harm.

What is up with asshole doctors? Really? Now I guess I have had a closer view being a "nurse" on how they really act but still I don't get their reasoning on why they need to belittle people. I know you get paid lots of money to send me on a death spiral into chips and candy (BTW big props to both my kids who do it daily, free-of-charge but at least I can threaten my kids, I cant a doctor, not legally). Did you not pay attention in that high dollar school on the day they were talking about bedside manners. I guess that was the day you were out shopping for your trophy wife?!?

Well anyways, I went to the doctor because for some reasons it was my week to have a migraine. I don't have them but maybe once a year so they are usually not that serious. It was Wednesday afternoon when I started seeing tracers which means here comes the pain. My usual method for treating is Excedrin Migraine, alone time in the closet with wash clothe. It has worked before I thought it would work again. By Thursday, it was just a dull throbbing, I thought great its on its way out, awesome. Well Friday morning at 3 am I woke up to the most horrific pain that started in my neck and went down my back across my shoulder blade. It was so bad I couldn't move. I laid there not moving, breathing very little and waited for 3 hours until my hubby came home from work. He got the heating pad and Advil. That eased the pain some at least long enough for the doctor's office to open. I got my appointment 9am not bad. My hubby and girls dropped me off at the door, my wait was very little, I thought awesome this is going to be a breeze. walks my mercenary coming to kill my dreams of being able to fit into my clothes once again or maybe a summer dress in time for my "BIG TRIP TO CHICAGO" in 3 months!

I guess in summary the one key thing he said that really struck with me was and I quote "If you were SKINNY your life would be PERFECT". I really look like a woman that wants to hear that you have a metabolic disease so it is twice as hard for you to lose weight and keep it off but you know your life would just be perfect if only you were skinny. Really...perfect?!? I don't think so plus I really don't like to be told that I must be "crazy to want to have a period after 3 years. There are lots of women who wish they didn't". To which I replied "Really? There are not a lot of women out there sleeping around married and unmarried that don't hope for their periods every month. Hummm...I must be crazy! He didn't like the sass. Sorry neither did my mother but I still did it!!

It took a long weekend of muscle relaxers and pain medicine (which made me one grumpy mother bear) to get back where I could move my neck without pain. I also managed to work out on the elliptical machine for 20 minutes today, I took my "fat disease" meds today both times too. I ate healthy and didn't yell except at bedtime which always happens so today was....perfect!


Good-bye Oprah

I can't seem to bring myself to watch the last 4 episodes of the Oprah show. I know it is because sadly I don't want it to end, really. I LOVE OPRAH. I miss her so much! Its pathetic I know. I just want to call her up and hear about her new favorite things or what next injustice do i need to worry about? Whats the new black? What about my reading, how will I ever come up the next bestseller? Seriously I cant pick good books on my own!

I can't live if living is without her....

I guess I will sit her with some of the favorite things I was able to afford, my Moscow Mule and watch the end of one of my longest friendships. Oprah call me gurl! I miss you!



I want to be famous and have lots of money
And have many friends who think I am funny!

I want a big house with lots of cars
I want lots of jewelry and be friends with stars

I want to be skinny and walk the runway
I want people to listen to what I say

I want the freedom that money can buy
Freedom from debt, freedom from lies

I want lots of horses and lots of land
I want to influence others & give them a hand

I want to see the world and travel afar
I want to go to big parties and end up at bars

I want to be waited on by butlers and maids
I want a big title and not be an aide

I want something precious, I want something true
I guess that is why I ended up with you!!

By Kristel


Thanks Subaru!!

Thanks Subaru for helping me find my new favorite song!! Now I think I am going to have to teach myself to play the guitar so I sing it!!!


Health Tip

Today's Health Tip:

An invigorating walk can provide as many benefits as a slightly shorter run - and far more than doing nothing at all. For better health and to avoid weight gain, take your pick (because frankly we all love options):

  • RUN ~~ at least 20 minutes only 3 times a week
  • WALK~ at least 30 minutes 5 times a week
Enjoy your day and BREATHE!!!

Week 1 ~ DONE

Well I made it through week 1 of my new diet "lifestyle change"! Because we all need lists in our lives, here is a list of things that impressed me about myself this past week:
  • I didn't kill anyone although I did needlessly yell at about both my kids & husband for reasons that really should not be reasons!
  • It has been a whole week without my life line ~~ Dr. Pepper and well frankly I am still alive just not awake most days!
  • I have seriously cut back on sugar and don't miss it one little bit.
  • I have eaten more vegetables this week than I ate all last month (3 heads of lettuce consumed by me and me alone, thank you very much).
  • I have exercised regularly and now my body is really starting to like it, which confuses me?!? Really body you enjoy sweating it out until all your muscles ache, really?!? Because I could have sworn you were the same body that LOVED lounging on the couch~just sayin!
  • I have cooked 3 meals a day for the last week without eating out ONCE?!? I had no idea that I was related to Betty F*ing Crocker!
I would give you some elaborate breakdown of what my weight has done this week BUT...I haven't weighted myself and I don't plan to for at least 2-3 more weeks. Truthfully it is not about the weight, I just want to be able to live a normal life without medication and without huffing and puffing everywhere I go. This Big Bad Wolf doesn't want to chase piggies anymore, I would rather kiss a frog and marry my prince.....wait I already did!! Now I just want to enjoy it!!!


Day 3

So today was day 3 or 2, idk, I think i am having sugar withdraws. I have no energy and my brain is foggy to say the least but that's OK because I have had no headaches. I am keeping my fingers crossed.

I did a lot better today with my exercising. I made it another 5 minutes on "the machine" plus we went downtown to May fest this afternoon. That was a lot of walking but I really enjoyed the time with the family. I also managed to keep in my basic Pilate's ab exercises that I used to live and die by so kudos in that department.

As far as food, I didn't do so well in that department at May fest. I did manage to restraint myself a whole bunch. I only had 3 bites of polish sausage, 1 bite of cheese-on-a-stick, 2 bites of corn dog and 2 bites of funnel cake. I know too much but you should have seen what everybody else ate...just say in. Besides May fest I stayed on my meal plan of breakfast, snack, huge lunch, and only a salad for dinner so I could take my meds. I do need a pat on the back because I am drinking lots and lots more water!!

Now just have to get the kids to bed, take a shower because frankly I stink then off to bed to watch t.v....Here's to a better day tomorrow!!


I have done it, I hold the answer to many questions...

men are new answer to are retarded...the price of gas is high bc men are retarded...i am expected to give up my careeer for children bc men are retarded....i am in a bad mood why you ask bc MEN ARE RETARDED...just sayin


Dear Food

Dear Food,

I have really had it with you this time!! No more late night meet-ups or whatever you are calling it these days. I can't bear all the weight you are putting me under, please my body aches. So from now on, we can only meet when necessary. Even then you better take it easy. I am watching you!!!


Lard Ass

French Fry Deluxe Salad

I stole borrowed this recipe from the Food Network Magazine (my new fav)!


•3 cups frozen curly french fries (about 9 ounces)
•4 strips bacon
•1 tablespoon yellow mustard
•3 tablespoons chopped dill pickle, plus a splash of pickle juice from the jar
•1 1/2 tablespoons ketchup
•3 tablespoons mayonnaise
•1 1/2 tablespoons malt vinegar
•1/4 teaspoon sugar
•Kosher salt and freshly ground pepper
•1 cup grape tomatoes, halved
•1/4 cup thinly sliced red onion
•2 romaine hearts, torn
•1/4 cup shredded sharp cheddar cheese
•Toasted sesame seeds, for topping (optional)

Bake the french fries as the label directs until crisp. Let cool.

Meanwhile, heat a large skillet over medium heat. Add the bacon and cook until crisp, about 4 minutes per side; transfer to a paper towel-lined plate. Cool slightly, then break the bacon into pieces.

Make the dressing: Whisk the mustard, pickle, pickle juice, ketchup, mayonnaise, vinegar, sugar and 2 tablespoons water in a large bowl. Add 1/4 teaspoon salt, and pepper to taste.

Add the french fries, bacon, tomatoes, red onion, romaine and cheddar cheese to the bowl with the dressing and toss to combine. Season with salt and pepper. Divide the salad among bowls. Sprinkle with sesame seeds, if desired.


Conversations in Passing...

We have been having trouble with Little Sister (2.5 yrs old) saying "dang it". I know that it could be a lot worse but none the less I don't like her saying it. She picked it up from her Dad! He constantly says it but doesn't even realize how much he says it.

Sitting at the dinner table waiting for food, Little Sister starts eating food out of the serving bowls...

Me: "Sister stop eating that food! Dinner is almost ready when we sit down we can all eat together"

Little Sister: Lays her head down on the table and with as much angry as she can muster "DANG IT!" and slaps the table!


Few hours later, I am working on my "project", everyone else is playing Donkey Kong on the Wii...

Me: I say to my husband "You know Little Sister is saying your favorite word a lot these days. Do you think you can not say it for a while?!"

Husband: "What is my favorite word?"

Me: "D-A-N-G it!"

Husband: "I really don't say it that much, maybe every once in a while but I will make an effort to not say it" still playing the video game not taking his eyes off the TV for anything!

Me: "Thank you"

Husband: "Dang it, dang it, dang it, dang it, dang it, dang it, dang it...why can't that monkey just hold on to the rope!!"

Me: "You never say it, right?!?!"

 Happy Monday!!!


Farfalle with Carbonara & Spring Peas ~~~ Yummy!

I love the idea behind Jamie Oliver - homemade & organic. I got this great recipe from "Jamie's Dinners: The Essential Family Cookbook". The whole family feel in love with this recipe! Try it, spice it and share with others!!

1 lb Farfalle (Farfalle is a bow-tie want-to-be)
1 egg
7 tablespoons heavy cream
sea salt & black pepper
12 slices of bacon (I only use 6)
3 handfuls of fresh or frozen peas
2 sprigs of fresh mint, leaves picked
2 handfuls of parmesan cheese

  • Bring large pan of salted water to boil, add farfalle & cook according to package
  • Whisk egg in a bowl with cream, salt & pepper
  • Put your bacon into a second pan & cook until crispy
  • When the farfalle is nearly cooked, add the peas for the last minute & a half
  • When cooked, drain & save a little of the cooking water
  • Add pasta to the bacon and stir in most of the mint, finely sliced
  • Now you need to add the egg & cream mix to the pasta. Add while the pasta is still hot so to cook the eggs enough to give you a silky smooth sauce
  • Toss together & loosen with a little of the reserved pasta water if necessary
  • Season with salt & pepper, sprinkle with parmesan & rest of the mint leaves

Wordless Wednesday

PS I am fully aware of the fact that today is Friday!


March Read Along

Tumbled across this FABULOUS idea this morning!

Head over to Helping Little Hands to read more about it!

Mom Blog Monday!

The Not-So-Secret Confessions of a First Time Mom

I have I told you how much I love hops!!

Well here one that I couldn't miss joining its with "like minded people" ! It's an awesome hop for Moms, duh!

Simply follow Sippy Cups and Cloth Bums, The Not- So- Secret Confessions of a First Time Mom, and Luxury Living Frugal Style. Be sure to leave a comment so they can follow you back! 

Please link directly to your blog ONLY! Please do not link up your giveaways.
So HOP on over & link up!! Be sure and read about the featured blogger, too!!


New App

I LOVE my new app...Hipstamatic!! So much that I called in sick to my job and went to the zoo!! Hahahaha...just kidding...well, maybe...I'll never tell!! Here are some of my favorite pics


Like Mother Like Daughter

I have been having trouble sleeping lately, you would think with all the extra time I could update my blog or catch up on all the blogs I love! I have had a lot of very vivid and sometimes frightening dreams. It has become a regular conversation piece at the dinner table. Actual conversation from lunch today:

Big Sister: "Mom, did you have any weird dreams last night?"

Me: "Yeah, I dreamed I was being chased by this man. It was a little unnerving."

Big Sister: "Was he hot?!"

Like mother, like daughter! The only thing that mattered was what he looked like...just sayin!!!!


Inspiration from Halls...

I don't know if any of you have been sick lately...but Halls has a new inspiration campaign! On each Halls wrapper is different catch phrases to help inspire you to achieve your best potential! So today I am passing on the inspiration. Here are a few that I have stared at lately in the midst of the cold/flu from hell..just sayin ;)....

"Don't wait to get started"
"Dust off and get up" (Not really I wanted to read while I was sick!)
"Get back in the game"
"Hi-five yourself" (My personal favorite, I got a lot of laughs out of picturing myself hi-fiving my self and missing! LOL)
"Fire up those engines"
"You've survived tougher"
"Don't waste a precious moment"
"Get through it"
"Be unstoppable"
"Go for it"
"Seize the day."
"Put your game face on"
"The show must go on. Or work."

So remember...You've survived tougher so don't waste a precious moment, seize the day. The show must go on or work so fire up those engines, get through it and be unstoppable. Put your game face on, hi-five yourself, dust off & get up. Remember GO FOR IT!! LOL

*I was no way compensated for this post from Halls!


Happy Birthday Dad

Today is my Dad's birthday. He would have been 59 today. I really hate this day more than any other day out of the year including my own birthday. It is the one day out of the year that I purposefully do not plan anything because chances are I will be in the bed all day crying. I miss him so much.


Quiche Recipe - Quick & Easy


4 oz cheese - I like sharp cheddar but any kind will work
2 tablespoon of butter melted
4 eggs
1/4 cup onion
1 teaspoon salt
1/2 cup of flour - I used oat flour bc of allergy to wheat
1 1/2 cup milk - I used rice milk bc of allergy to milk

Suggested toppings:
fresh spinach chopped finely so kids can't find
sun dried tomatoes & feta cheese (I tried & it is VERY good)
any vegetable that sounds good to you

  • Pre heat oven to 350
  • Grease pie pan
  • Line bottom of pan with cheese & heavier ingredients
  • Whisk all other ingredients together in bowl *Do not over stir
  • Pour bowl contents into pie pan
  • Bake for 30 minutes or until firm in middle


Conversations in Passing...

Heard in passing while putting up many loads of laundry...

Big Sister: "What stinks?"
Little Sister: "That's ME!! I pooped! You want some?!?"

I immediate pick her up and take her to the changing table...

Little Sister: "I pooped! It stinks! You want some?"
Me trying not to laugh: "No thank you but I do want to change your diaper"
Little Sister: "Oookkk. Here I hold this leg. That diaper is for me."
Me: "Thanks"

After finishing changing the stinkalicious diaper and redressing her...

Little Sister: "My poop stinks! Can I take it to the trash?"
Me: "Yes. Then we need to wash our hands"
Little Sister: "Ok. Can I get a ride with you?"

Me vs Elliptical Machine

Well the elliptical machine kicked my large bum! Don't worry there WILL be a rematch tomorrow.

Sitting here now after only getting to second base with a machine(I made it halfway), I really think I need a shower! Maybe some oxygen, a massage, babysitter and a chef would also help. Oh don't forget maid because I really don't think I will be able to pick up all those toys.

Before you get too jealous, it ain't happening sista! Only in my's more like this....


True Friendship

After not hearing from my "best friend" for more than 2 weeks, I sent her a text asking what she was up to these days. Her reply "Still on vacation and potty training". This is the actual text message I sent back "I am sorry I think you were misinformed, we do not offer vacation time or a health care plan with this friendship. I don't care if your grandmother died, you have a job to do. I was also told that you were potty trained when you were brought on"


New Year, New Schedule

I am still working on the "New Year's Resolution - Bucket List 2011" so until then I will share what the new year has brought so far. Today we started a new rewards system for the girls. Now my 7 year old is very excited about the whole thing but of course my 2 year old has not idea what I am talking about, imagine that!

I mainly wanted to use it to help with potty training. I am sick of wasting money just because I am too lazy to take her to the bathroom every 20 minutes!  Big sister is really excited because it gives her the opportunity to earn extra time on the Wii and staying up late.

So Day 1, we woke up late, thanks Dad! (He forgot to reset the alarm!) Big sister is sick and has laid in bed most of the day! Little sister is a character today! Some days I laugh more than I yell, thank goodness! I did get Big Sister to brush her teeth, brush her hair, wash her face and get dressed all by herself!! That is HUGE for us! Day 1 - Success!

Tomorrow is a new day!!